Every day I am noticing little improvements in myself. For example today I put my foot flat on the floor!! Normally this would have caused a spasm. I was absolutely thrilled that it didn’t spasm, it was yet another positive improvement. I am putting all my little improvements down to one of my medicines. I am currently on a variety of medicines but Gabapentin seems to be the only one that is making a huge difference. At the moment we are slowly upping my dosage, to see if it will help me any more than it already has.
I am clinging to the prospect that it could be a ‘miracle drug’ for me. That if I take enough I may eventually walk, have my sight all the time and be able to use my right hand again. My biggest hope is that it will be enough to enable me to return to my midwifery training. I would take anything right now if it would enable me to able to return to uni and start doing my training again. With each improvement I make, I get more and more hopeful that I will return. I know that my chances of getting back on the course is slim, but I am still clinging to those chances. Hoping that if I push my body hard enough and stick with the meds, then just maybe I’ll get back to Midwifery.
I am however, bearing in mind that the chances of me making a full recovery is extremely slim, and slight improvements may be as good as it gets. If that is the case, then I shall still be happy as every little improvement is a big step forward.