Posted in Archive, november

The count down to February!


Today I have been  rather down. Which I suppose is to be expected. Most days I cope pretty well, but today I have felt so angry and upset. In February I am meant to be returning to Uni. Each day, February gets nearer and I get more and more upset and scared. When I left uni only my jaw was affected, and now I often go blind, I’m  in a wheelchair and one arm doesn’t work.

Every day I try to push my body more and more, in an attempt to re-train my brain. I can’t imagine not going back to uni. The thought of not going back reduces me to tears every time, because I absolutely loved my course and cannot imagine doing anything else  with my life.

At the moment my options are to somehow manage to re-train my brain in the little time I have left, or give up and tell my  uni just how ill I am. I have to go with the first option, but there’s a little voice in the back of my head, that I am desperately trying to ignore, which is telling me the second option may end up happening.

I have had enough of this condition, I want to go back to my lectures, my community visits and my night shifts on the labour ward. The buzz of uni life. I want my old life back!!! I have until February to get better. I’m determined to it. It’s just working how to do it that’s the hard part.




I'm 27 years old, a mother, author, partner and spoonie. I suffer from Dystonia,POTS, EDS, Osteoarthritis and Lyme Disease. I have set up my blog to help spread awareness and bring light to this condition. This blog will be full of all my experiences that happen during my dystonia and chronic illness journey, from natterings, musings, moans, laughs, highs and lows. :-) It will be a little bit of everything

One thought on “The count down to February!

  1. Aww bless you, I think your entitled to have a few down days now and then, sounds like you’ve been so very strong through all of this, you are human after all. Must be awful but try and be positive, I often think of you and how you are doing, and I’m keeping everything crossed that things improve for you soon. Take care xxxxx

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