Posted in Archive, September 2021

Covid-19 has arrived in our household

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Toward the end of last week our youngest woke with a fever. She didn’t have a cough, a runny nose or anything that particular screamed that it could be Covid-19, nor were we aware of anyone that we had seen recently who had developed it. So we were not particularly worried. However we arranged for her to have a PCR test as govt guidelines list a temperature as one of the signs to watch for. We didn’t expect a positive result, thinking instead it was far more likely to be a normal cold. After all the kids seem to have colds constantly. Less than 24 hours later at 1am in the morning my phone buzzed to let us know we needed to isolate. She had covid.

We tried our best to keep the anxiety at bay. Both myself and my partner are fully vaccinated, having received our vaccines at the start of the year. Yet after shielding for so long, and reading up on the virus over the past 18 months on the many different issues it can cause, it was hard not to worry. Both my son and I were shielders. Stefan, tested positive two days later. Whilst he has been undeniably feeling rotten and suffered more than Evie, he has luckily coped far better than we expected and is now seeming more like his cheeky self again.

We thought that we may have escaped catching it. Almost a week went by and then Damon tested positive. I was already isolating away from the rest of my household to try and avoid catching it as I had developed sinusitis which my body was already struggling to cope with. At my partners suggestions I was feeling worse rather than improving on my antibiotics I took a lateral flow test. The test result line appeared in less than twenty seconds. So off we went for a PCR again, which soon confirmed what we all ready knew.

This extremely short blog has taken me nine hours to write – ridicules I know. The fatigue I am experiencing is unreal I keep falling asleep while writing it despite being sat up with laptop on me. My body is not happy with a mirad of symptoms between dislocations, nerve pain, fatigue, spasms, no smell and taste, itchiness all over, breathlessness and spams on the left side of face which feels is as if it is determined to detach itself from my skull and be on its’ merry way.

My apologies for not getting round to live on facebook today. I needed to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow if I am feeling up for it I will do but it will depend on how I’m feeling.

Posted in Archive, July 2021

Botox Side Effects – facial drooping

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Botox for me is life changing. Without it I would be hospitalised on an NG tube, unable to talk, swallow, eat, or drink. I’ve ended up in that exact situation previously. It’s unpleasant to say the least. I’m fortunate enough to receive Botox from my neurologist every twelve weeks and then a top up at the six week mark in the cycle from my maxofacial team to keep my jaw going.

I am extremely fortunate to experience very little in the way of side effects. Generally speaking I get ‘botox flu’ for a few days after and a flare in my complex regional pain Syndrome symptoms in my arm. This time though my mouth has been weakened slightly by the Botox. It’s not physically painful in anyway at all, it simply means the corners of my mouth are dropping.

At first I didn’t notice it to much, then I was hyper aware. I found myself wanting to be in pictures as little as possible as I knew I’d fixate on the turned down corners of my mouth despite the focused effort to smile. I was finding myself deleting photos of myself and the kids, myself on days out etc, over something as ridiculous as an altered smile.

It’s not as obvious in both photos above, but the fact I’ve kept these picture is a big step forward. I started to think about the example I was setting my children. It was not a healthy one. I do not want them to grow up thinking that we should scrutinize photos for imperfections. Photos have always been for us a treasure trove of memories, to help remind us of the many memories we have made together. Both my kids love getting our photo albums out to look at and this something I hope long continues.

My altered smile, is not permanent, however it is a reminder that I am one of the lucky ones who receives treatment and responds to it. That is something to celebrate not to fixate on. Whether it stays droopy or returns to normal I’ll keep snapping photos of our days out making memories. After all it wasn’t long ago I thought Dystonia meant the life I have now would be impossible. Forever thankful for Botox injections and medication.

Posted in March 2021

Medication Success

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As I have mentioned previously following a discussion with my neurologist I tried a couple of different medications to see if we could get a better handle on my spasms. In particular the spasms around my jaw as these cause me significant issues with pain, dislocations, and make it next to impossible some days to relocate my jaw; I’ve had the joy previously of coming round from an operation to have my jaw relocated under GA, only to dislocate when I wake up due to spasms, and have my surgeon coming running over to put it back in and bandage my jaw up. Not a pleasant experience.

Trihexyphenidyl is the medication we have added into my daily regime and it has made a huge difference. Little things like I can brush my teeth now with an adult sized toothbrush rather than a children’s one are possible, and instead of dislocating my jaw by brushing my teeth, my jaw is just in a small spasm and achy. My son commented the other day on the fact that my face isn’t wonky all the time and asked if my Jaw Dr had fixed my jaw. We had a quick chat about mummy’s silly brain and moved on, but for me that showed just how amazing this medicine has been.

I saw my neurologist the other week and he has suggested increasing the dosage further as I am currently not experiencing any side effects. I’m waiting to receive a copy of his letter to my gp explaining that I have the go ahead to do this at my own pace, so we can see just what improvements we can get.

Right now, thanks to lovely female hormones, I’m sitting here feeling quite sore all over as my body goes downhill each month due to the fluctuating hormonal changes. I’ve had several subluxes today in shoulder which have in turn aggravated neck spasms. Normally I’d be quite grumpy about all of this, and yes I’m not exactly thrilled, but having the Dystonia side of things more controlled doesn’t half make coping with the EDS etc, easier. Everything just feels that little bit more manageable right now, and that’s fantastic.

Posted in Archive, March 2021

Back from Break; Update

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It’s been a few weeks since my last post, as some of you will know from my Facebook page I took time away whilst my son had a major surgery. Now things are settling again the posting schedule will be returning to normal.

So what’s been happening? My neurologist and I have been trialing different medications over the last three months to try and improve my quality of life, bring my pain levels down and reduce the number of Jaw Operations I have. We tried a number of different ones before landing on trihexyphenidyl. This medicine has been life changing. It’s drastically reduced the constant jaw spasms, and whilst they are still there the severity is reduced and manageable. We’re still playing around with the dosage to see how much further we can control my spasms. It’s been amazing.

I’m still waiting for a Barrium Swallow test to confirm my chronic Aspiration and give the dietician an idea of what thickness fluids need to be to help stop this. In the meantime the speech and language therapist is checking in regularly to ensure I’m doing ok.

Currently I’m waiting to see my Gastro Dr as my GI symptoms have returned. It’s extremely painful to eat or drink anything heavier than a cup of tea. I’m pretty much living off sugary tea in the meantime to get by.

On a more positive note I’ve just signed a three ebook deal for my young adult fantasy series which is very exciting. I feel very fortunate that this is something I can do from home while the children are asleep, as given the severity of all my conditions on my body a typical job is out of the question.

Finally I want to say thank you for the support I’ve received over the last few weeks. It’s been extremely touching. Now that this post is up and you are all caught up I’ll be back to posting my usual blogs from tomorrow.

Posted in Archive, february 2021

Cancard UK; Fantastic leap for Chronic Conditions in 2021

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What is Cancard UK?

The Cancard UK is a fantastic leap forwards for pain patients and people with qualifying* chronic conditions in the UK. Essentially it is a card issued by Cancard LTD to its membership that provides evidence to the Police that the holder has a qualifying medical condition for which medical cannabis may be prescribed. This card indicates to the the police that the holder is therefore in possession of cannabis for medical reasons and that that they should confident in using discretion when they encounter a Cancard holder providing they are in possession of small quantities.

*You can find a list of qualifying conditions of their site, upon application you be asked to either provide a summary of care or have your GP sign to prove that you meet application criteria.

Why is the Cancard necessary?

Currently there is a short list of qualifying conditions for that entitle you to a private prescription of cannabis in the UK. However these are extremely expensive; An initial appointment* costs around £150, a follow up appointment which is required every couple of month £65, each prescription at least £30 per month. *Pricing examples taken from The Medical Cannabis Clinics.

For most people these prices are just not affordable, especially not long term. However it is known, and more evidence is coming out in support of this, that for certain conditions cannabis can provide significant relief, reduce pain, and help manage symptoms.

Does this make it legal?

No the law has not changed, however all police forces in the UK have been briefed on the the card. It has been co-designed and is backed by senior members of the police force, and guidance has been issued by them stressing that officers should feel confident in using their discretion in cases of possession when the holder is also in possession of a Cancard. It does, however, prove that you are legally entitled to a cannabis prescription which is a huge step forwards.

Cancard UK

If you are interested and want to know more I would highly recommend spending some time on their website and also on their social media. Not only can you apply for the card through the site which is an easy process, but it is also full of great resources such guides to self medication, how to handle being stopped by the police, the different components in cannabis and how each one affects different conditions such as epilepsy, spasms, pain etc. The Cancard UK is a great tool to utilise as well, one of the most recent videos was a tutorial demonstrating how to make it into a oil, which for those who prefer not to smoke is a very handy guide.

Next Steps

Currently the card does not cover growing your own plant at home, and pharmacies are still not selling to card holders. However, they are working on expanding so that growing is covered and therefore reduces the risks taken by the user.

Posted in Archive, february 2021, poems

Dislocations; Smashed Avocado Toast

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It’s the breath stealing, heart racing moments.

Nostrils flared, knuckles white with a fierce grip.

Head back, focused. Can’t swear.

Sausages. Bananas. Smashed Avocado on freaking toast.

Hospital? No. What can they do.

I’ll only spasm and dislocate again at one, then again at two.

Pass me Olaf, he needs his teeth done.

Sausages. Bananas. Smashed Avocado on freaking toast.

Fifth Knee dislocation of the day.

The spasms. Just. Wont. Stay. Away.

Still need to be a Floogal Rescue Machine.

Sausages. Bananas. Smashed Avocado on freaking toast.

Posted in Archive, January 2021

The Test Results Are In

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After spending the last several months in and out of hospital, losing the sight in my eye for an extended period of time and only partially regaining it, losing all sensation in my right leg and experiencing sensory issues in my arms I was once again told it looked like I had MS. Yet the examinations didn’t agree. I was left battling for help as different hospitals and departments seemed to find it impossible to communicate with each other. Well the most recent test results are in! We finally have an answer.

If I am honest I had almost given up on a diagnosis other than unknown complex neurology condition with global sensory loss. None of my Drs were communicating with each other, no one could agree with each other and that was resulting in me receiving no treatment. It has been a period of high stress and extreme emotion.

Today I finally had my Emergency Video Consultation  with the local specialist in Neurology; this was requested back in October. Firstly they are agreed it isn’t MS which is great confirmation. What they are sure of is that is another part of my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Apprerently when I’m dislocating my knees the nerves around it are being over stretched and damaged hence the loss in sensation/function. The same thing had happened to my elbows causing the sensation I was getting in my lower arms and hands. This surprised me greatly; mainly as I had in fact asked the doctors this very question when I was on the ward last year and they laughed at me for suggesting it. In regards to my eyes the nerves are not communicating with my brain effectively, but are not damaged like you get in MS.

He’s suggested we get me booked in with my EDS consultant for some advice in the meantime on how to cope with these symptoms as they can last a significant amount of time.

So whilst the EDS is generally on a slippery slope currently and it’s all about managing it, keeping on top of my pain and being proactive, I feel that overall it was a very positive chat.

Posted in January 2021, Archive

Welcome to 2021

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2021 has arrived! We rang the new year in a quiet manner, a nice drink, a dislocated thumb and an early night after realising we were out of bandages (and spasms were forcing my thumb to remain out). I hope all of you had a lovely NYE and are healthy and safe at the start of this new year.

So what does 2021 hold in store for me?

As you may know from my facebook page I have set up my own holistic health coaching business which is designed to help people who are disabled/dealing with invisible illnesses. Holistic Health coaching is a partnership that will empower them, pin point problematic areas and find realistic tools to help improve quality of life, improve pain management, mental health wellbeing, and more.

Dystonia & Me Holistic Health Coach

Enabling others to improve their quality of life is a passion of mine. My own struggles in that area, along with fighting for help with mental health, pacing advice and more stuck me as how much holistic health coaches are needed. I know that I could have benefited greatly from one in the beginning. I look forward now to helping others, for anyone interested you can contact me here https://www.facebook.com/DystoniaandMeCoaching/

Posted in Archive, December 2020

Let’s Bin Perfection.

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What is perfection? It’s a word that we toss around like it weighs not a thing, when the reality is that’s a ball and chain dragging our mental health through the mud chasing after. I’m sure my own view of perfection is mighty different to yours! If it wasn’t then it would be a case of bottling up a potion or creating a word doc telling you what steps to follow to achieve perfection and selling it for a killing; I’d be able to have my own purpose built bungalow. No it’s different to all of us yet we all seek it.

It’s the little negative moments experienced that make us seek it. It’s the old man tutting and shaking his head repededly at me because he couldn’t push past my wheelchair easily. It’s the side eye and the sarcastic comments that are made by people who don’t understand ambulatory wheelchair users exist. It’s dislocating 15 times in one day and just having enough. It’s all these things and so much more that make us want to chase perfection.

The fog of insecurity in our brains full of thoughts like if I just weighed less, if I wasn’t chronically ill, if I wasn’t in my chair, if I was more like them; it’s all based on the negative moments and turned into insecurity and self doubt. It’s a weight that no one needs.

But chasing perfection is futile. It’s an unachievable concept. It’s time we move away from it. On that note can we bin chasing normal as well? Learn to love ourselves the way we are. Life would be boring if we were all the same. I know I would rather be my unique self than identical to every other person.

Posted in Archive, December 2020

Treatment Day

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Currently I’m sat in the rush hour traffic on my way home from seeing my neurologist in London. It’s been a long day which upon arrival I soon expected to end in despair. Despite email confirmation of my appointment, my slot had not been added on the system. I’m a big believer in to be early is to be on time, and this slightly over anxious side of me always shows itself before appointments; being extra early was something I was extremely relieved about this time as it meant that they had time to order up the injections.

Watching the lights go past.

Thankfully I was seen and as usual I left feeling ever grateful that I’m under my neurologists care. He’s been a rock for me these last 8 years and continues to be. He’s agreed with maxfax recommendations to start me on Sinemet and recommended an alternative to try if this one doesn’t have the hoped for impact. Maxfaxs theory is that there are a small number of EDS (I’m CEDS) who also have dopa responsive dystonia and that I may fall into this category. I’ve not tried any of these medications before so I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for some sort of dent in symptoms.

I’m planning on resting most the journey home as the injection site in shoulder always aggreviates my complex regional pain syndrome. More on this tomorrow.