When I was 17 weeks pregnant with my daughter I underwent surgery to remove a mole on the underneath of my right breast that had early cell changes. Due to the fact I was pregnant and it was a relatively short surgery they didn’t want to give me a general anaesthetic, so decided a local would do. Unfortunately my Ehlers-Danlos means I have no response to local anaesthetic and felt every cut, and every stitch. The whole process was rather traumatic and I’ve worked hard at trying to forget it.
I was admitted to my local hospital a couple of days ago due to worsening symptoms in my eye and leg. Due to this it was decided last night to bring my lumbar puncture forward to that evening. I explained that local anaesthetic does not work in the slightest for me. They decided to give me a double dose in the hope it would work; it didn’t, which I expected, maxfax team has tried injecting several times this amount with no effect previously. Now lumbar punctures are known to be painful anyway, so to know I was having one without effective pain relief was nerve wracking to say the least.
It was one of the most agonising experiences I have ever had. It took multiple attempts to place the needle correctly as they found the spaces inbetween the spinal collum to be be extremely narrow. It’s been just over twenty four hours since and I’ve struggled to move. My whole back is in horrondous pain, taking a deep breath or swallowing liquids really seems to agreviate it. I’ve also lost sensation over my waterworks which is concerning. I’ve spoken to the consultant but everyone’s answer over this is that I need an MRI, which apparently is booked but no can tell me a day or time.
I’m missing my kids loads but I know that being here is where I need to be. If this helps put a piece of the medical jigsaw in place and leads to better management that can only be a good thing. Just got to take everything one moment at a time.
I can’t believe we’ve reached 5 years since my battle with my Dystonia Alien began. I wouldn’t say time has flown by but I have certainly survived far better than I had anticipated at the start. In the beginning I struggled to picture a day ahead yet alone 5 years down the line. I was by no means depressed I just couldn’t imagine living with this condition for any length of time. Each hour was filled with pain, each month was taken up with ambulance after ambulance trip to the local resus department. If you had told me in 2012 that in 5 years time I would be typing this sitting next to my partner in our flat with a new baby I would have scoffed. It didn’t seem like a life I would ever be able to have.
Looking back on the first year of Dystonia I find myself thankful that even though I still have my spasms, my wonderful neurologist has found a combination of injections and medications that work for me. Life is in no way easy, pain is still a rather constant companion, but I have far more control over my limbs than I ever expected to have.
I’m happy to say I no longer struggle to imagine the next day or year coming, nor do I dread the coming days anymore. Now I find myself excitedly looking forward and making plans for life post university, writing my next book and jumping without worry at any opportunity presented to me. I acknowledge that I’m always going to have my struggles, but with multiple health conditions that’s to be expected. Despite, and because of my Dystonia, my days are filled with laughter and joy. What more could I want
It’s amazing I don’t rattle, but all these pills keeping me ticking along.
Last December at one of my maternity appointments the doctors sat me down and informed me that they believed that the damage occurring to my body throughout the pregnancy would be permanent and that they did not expect me to recover; any minor improvements they said would take at least a year to occur. I left, slightly terrified and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had been advised to upgrade my manual wheelchair to an electric one.
10 weeks on from the birth of my son and whilst my body hasn’t completely bounced back to its usual faulty self, I’m doing far better than anyone could have expected. I’m getting out everyday and helping prepare meals, making sure we’ve chosen spoonie friendly meals and we cook in bulk to help make flare up days that bit easier. I’m balancing life as new mum with a home based internship, and couldn’t be happier. Each day I feel like I’m achieving and managing that bit more.
Naturally life never runs smoothly. Three weeks ago I joined Slimming World to help shift some of my pregnancy weight. Being plus size is detrimental to my EDS so I made the decision to make a positive change to help myself. Last night we decided we would treat ourselves to Slimming World Italian Affogato. This involves grating chocolate, something I figured I would be able to do fine. Instead clumsy as every, I grated my finger, in my usual manner I brushed this off, however after waking up to it still bleeding this morning my GP sent me off to the minor injuries unit to have stitches.
I have never felt so embarrassed by my sheer clumsiness before. After having the stitches put in I fainted and broke the same finger! I don’t think the Dr could quiet believe it. Yet I left the unit with a spring in my step, this incident highlighted to me just how well I’m coping. Since going back on my medications my spasms have reduced and I’m getting out a bit more everyday. So whilst spending the majority of the day in minor injuries isn’t ideal, for the simple fact I got myself there and back with no issue is a huge achievement.
Summer has arrived without a doubt, beautiful cloudless sky, sweltering heat and wonderful days out whilst I’m on my uni holidays. However, the arrival of summer also means that my body is working extra hard to compensate which has resulted in periods of tachycardia, eye and other spasms and an increase in pain. Sunglasses are now a permanent feature to try and relieve a bit of pressure on my eyes, but short of sitting in the freezer there’s not too much that can be done.
When I first became ill I found my focus was entirely on all the things I thought I wouldn’t be able to do anymore. Over the years I have conquered all the hurdles I was facing or found ways around them. Going to university was a huge deal and quiet the achievement for me. I’d been so reliant on others for years that living on my own and only having care for a little while a day was a nerve wracking decision to make. As you can imagine the idea of juggling a baby and uni has been a bit daunting.
At first, I didn’t know how I would manage both, but last week we ventured up to my university so I could sit my last exam of my second year. I was extremely lucky that my lecturer was willing to look after Stefan whilst I sat the exam. This has given me the confidence that I can do both, and that I’ll find ways to cope, for example little things like strapping the pram to my wrist so that if I have a seizure or have an extreme spasm he’s perfectly safe and can’t go anywhere. Small things like this put my mind at ease and reassure me that despite my conditions I can manage life as a student and mum.
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