Posted in Archive, December 2020

So This Is Energy?

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If you’ve been following my blog for a while, or if you’ve been here since the beginning, you’ll know that pacing (for many years) was like a swear word to me. The doctors threw it around a lot, really pressed the importance of it, but no-one really explained how to implement it properly into my life. I felt like I was being told to sit down and accept my fate of not being able to do anything, anymore. As someone who likes to be busy, I didn’t accept this instruction.


Don’t misunderstand me, I tried. I’d manage a few days of what I viewed as pacing and then I’d slip back into my old habits, trying to live a normal life of activity with no adjustments. The consequences of doing this was that I hit that ’empty spoon’ wall hard and often. Each time regretting it as I then took days to recuperate.


I’m currently coming towards the end of the 3 diplomas I’ve been studying, in Health, Wellness and Life Coaching – specialising in life management with chronic illnesses. I’ve loved the course itself but seeing the difference applying it to my daily life has had, has been amazing. It’s completely changed my understanding of pacing and therefore helped me to apply it to my life with ease.


Yesterday, for example, I was feeling much better than usual so I asked my son what activities he would like to do. I had already decided I would say yes to whatever he chose to do and would find a way to adapt it if needed. He asked to cook with me. So we got the soup maker out to eliminate the amount of cutting and hot heavy lifting of pans. He loved peeling the onion and garlic, cutting out the amount of herbs. It was a gentle session, sat down and full of laughter.
I know energy filled days won’t always be here even when I’m 100% on track, but by pacing, asking for help more etc.it reduces how often flare ups will happen. It’s making a huge difference not just to how I’m coping physically but also to my mental health which has had a real boost.

Posted in Archive, October

The daily battles

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As each day goes by, I realise more and more just how much I used to take for granted. I never once thought twice about the fact that I could cook my own meals, come and go freely from my house, dress with ease, or climb stairs. They were just regular daily things that I did. I know now, how luck I was to be able to do all of those things.

At uni, I could wake up half an hour before a lecture and have had breakfast, gotten dressed, and been out the front door in 20 minutes. Now I wake up and have to decide whether I need to yell for someone to help me through to the kitchen for breakfast or if I think I can hop to it myself. I cannot cook or carry things due to the fact I am highly likely to end up having a spasm or go blind. Some days even just putting my trousers on can take a good twenty to thirty minutes. All in all, just getting ready for the day can take me a good hour and a half, and on bad days over two hours.

Getting me in and out of the house is yet another issue. First I have to hop down to get out the front door and then hop up three rather big steps. This would not be so bad if I had the ability to balance or had some coordination.Unfortunately I have neither, so trying to get me out or into the house normally involves me trying my best not to hop/fall into the bushes but I usually fail. In the past even with the use of both legs, I have managed to fall down these steps numerous times.

Despite having to battle with my dystonia daily, just so that I am dressed for the day or so that I can go out, I remain positive. I am convinced that with all the hoping I am having to do, I will eventually learn to balance and have some sense of coordination. Even if I don’t manage to learn these two skills at least I shall provide entertainment for those around me.

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