Frustration. Worry. Pain. Hope. Joy. A selection of the emotions that over the last few weeks I have experienced. I have improved leaps and bounds since I started new treatment for Chronic Neurological Lyme Disease several weeks ago, there is a long way to go but the improvement are more than I could dared to have hoped for. Yet I feel like I am clinging to these improvements, that they might slip away at the slightest wrong move.
I must admit that on some level I am fuming that it has taken 16 years to get diagnosed. I have spent the majority of my life ill, passed from one specialist to the next, having test after test. The result of their continued ignorance is that I shall now have to live my life with Dystonia. I was not born with it, as far as we know it is not genetic, if I had simply been given antibiotics when I was six or in the couple of years after that I would not have to live with (a currently incurable) movement disorder.
I would not have to cope with the agony of my jaw dislocating due to spasms, or my neck twisting hideously. My ligaments throughout my whole body would not have been so stretched due to spasms that it shocks physiotherapists at the extent of the damage. I would not have developed pain triggered Non Epileptic Seizures if not for Chronic Neurological Lyme disease and Dystonia. I would not have spent 10 hours unconscious seizing in A&E on New Year’s Day 2013. I would not have collapsed and seized in the middle of roads, on the stairs, in shops etc. I would not have put my family, my friends, and myself through hell and back.
Although I have always been ill in one form or another it was not until 2012 that it became disabling, right at the end of my first year of Midwifery training. As many of you know, Midwifery is my dream job, and I hope to one day be able to go back to my training. More than Midwifery I dream of life without illness (I except I have to live with Dystonia). A life where my family don’t have to plan their activities around my health. A future where I can live life to the full without worrying about the impact it will have on my health! Without full treatment for Chronic Neurological Lyme Disease I won’t get better. I will continue to deteriorate rapidly. Lyme Disease has claimed the lives of too many people already I don’t plan on being its next victim. I need to raise £10,000 to fund vital treatment if you are able to please help or share this page/link! https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/erfg6/ab/04081d